Returns of Respect

“Render to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor” (Rom. 13:7, New American Standard Version)

            Do you remember when the phrases, “Thank you”, “Please”, and “You’re welcome” accompanied the speech of most everyone you met? Do you recall your parents stressing your acquisition of “Sir” and “Ma’am” (short for Madam, by the way), “Mr.” or “Mrs.”, when addressing men and women who happened to be your elders, regardless of how familiar they may be to you, out of a display of respect? The answers may take us to a time “far far away”, but it should only serve to prompt us to the truth that kindness, respect, and civility are not products of a bygone age. These are qualities that should be ageless if, indeed, they are fruits of the faith that we profess as followers of Christ.

            In our culture, the old adage, “familiarity breeds contempt” rings true. We as a society have purposefully sought (and fought) to become more familiar, intimate, and informal in all of our dealings with each other, believing that this process destroys barriers and encourages greater communication between people. Rather than tearing down obstacles between people by supposedly engaging more closeness, efforts made to purposefully make things more “familiar” between people actually have caused greater difficulties and divisions to arise. The informality, instead of making people more comfortable with each other, has elevated disrespect, because the elements of esteem and protocol have been removed. In other words, there needs to be a certain amount of distinction that results in mutual value and civility in order for people to engage freely with each other. This is especially true within the church.

            Let’s start with our concept of God, shall we? The Apostle Paul told us that, because of our relationship with Jesus, we would be adopted into God’s family and could, thereby, call the Father God “Abba”, or Papa (rf. Rom. 8:15; Gal. 4:6). Now, on a personal note, I have a pet name for my father, “Boog”, which has since become the primary name by which all of his grandchildren and great-grandchildren know him. It is a name that is very familiar, because he is such to me and to them. However, he has not lost his place as my father, nor as their grandfather and great-grandfather in terms of authority. The same holds true for God on a much grander scale. I can call upon God as my “Abba”, but He is still King of Kings and Lord of Lords, Creator and Sustainer of the universe, Sovereign over all things and people. Thus, I can approach Him freely, boldly, but, at the same time, as a subject to the Great King with fear, reverence, and awe…though He is still my “Abba”.

            By the same token, we, as believers in Christ, must not lose the principle of respect. It must not be surrendered to a society that eschews the ideas of authority, honor, discipline, societal hierarchy, and structure. God is a God of order (rf. I Cor. 14:33). Familiarity has brought nothing but confusion and misunderstanding.

            Within our ranks, we must return to teaching our children proper designations for their elders as before, “Sir” and “Ma’am”. This is not a relic of the ancient past, but the showing of respect for those far wiser than themselves. In the stating of “Mr.” and “Mrs.” or “Ms.”, it is the clear delineation of a person in view of the gender that they possess biologically by God’s intent and of the marriage relationship that God has established.  We need to verbally acknowledge our thankfulness to others (“Thank you”) with proper responses (“Your welcome”) along with requests for assistance (“Please”) without the assumption that other people, whether they may be familiar to us or not, are there to serve us as personal slaves. If anything, with the practice, the Christian community in so doing will make themselves all the more distinguishable from the growing uncivilized horde that will inevitably continue down its path toward anarchy and self-destruction. This is one way we in Christ can fulfill the Biblical command to “come out from their midst and be separate” (rf. II Cor. 6:17).