“Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled;
for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” (rf. Heb 13:4 NASB)
On the sixth of this month, my wife, Lori, and I will have been married for 40 years. It is hard to believe that four decades have passed since we both stood on the platform at Byne Memorial Baptist Church in Albany, Georgia and said our vows one to another. We knew that the Lord had chosen each of us for the other the year before. I knew she was the one when I first saw her across the dance floor at the street dance held during Orientation Week at (then) Shorter College in Rome, Georgia. This feeling of divine oneness was only solidified as we spent more and more time with each other until I finally got up the nerve to ask her to marry me. We knew God’s will was being done when Lori’s dad (who I was concerned would nix the whole idea since she was “the apple of his eye”) unexpectedly pushed for us to be married sooner than the end of our college careers as we had originally planned. So, it all came together for us on August 6th, 1983 when I sang several love songs to her during the service…and she agreed to be wife anyway!
One of the things that we discussed and agreed to as a couple at the very beginning of our relationship was that our marriage would be a lifelong commitment. The only way to undo the relationship was by death since God is the final determiner of our lifespans. We knew we would have ups and downs, good days and hard days, times of struggle and times of great joy. These just come with the total package of a commitment that is binding. This is clearly what the Bible teaches about marriage. This was the standard upon which we chose to build our own.
Our society unfortunately has totally voided that original intent by God. Divorce has been made as easy and quickly as possible. Many, including Christians, keep divorce as a viable option, using it as an escape hatch should the relationship begin to move into choppy waters. Today, we have made the meaning and intent of marriage a complete blank (i.e. _________) that we can fill in any way we desire. Though God designed marriage to be between a biological male and a biological female, we have thoroughly undermined the concept altogether, blurring the lines between male and female and making it acceptable for those of like gender to enter into matrimony.
The writer of Hebrews reminds us that “marriage is to be held in honor among all”, that is, we are to respect the precepts of marriage as God purposed it from the beginning. This respect extends, according to this same inspired writer, to the “marriage bed” where the fullness of our individual sexuality as male or female, respectively, can be intimately shared without shame, guilt or sin. As long as we are making ourselves gifts to one another and strengthening the marriage relationship, we have no fear of committing iniquity or transgression. However, when we pervert the marriage relationship by including others in the intimacy or redefining marriage altogether, the writer of Hebrews warns us that we would be “judged” by the God who originated marriage. Indeed, those who violate God’s template for marriage are deemed “fornicators and adulterers”; such is not a safe place to be with the Holy One.
Some marriages fail and that is a fact we cannot ignore. Forgiveness for such situations is always available through the blood of Christ. However, God still stands by His original design. He wants His people to keep marriage holy and sacred because it is a living example of His own relationship with the Church. As Christians, let us then be diligent to uphold His blueprint for marriage, shining the light of His truth in the midst of a dark, spiritually dead culture. Our presence and model alone will be enough to bring a needed accountability for them before God.
