Judging Others

“Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” (rf. Mt. 7:1–5 NASB)

In the light of our time in Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount over the last several months, it seemed apropos for us to explore one of His lessons in print. As convicting as His words can be for us all, they remind us how much we need His saving and sustaining grace on a daily basis. This is especially true in our interactions with one another.   

Hypocrisy is a sin that is difficult for us to escape as Christians. In our desire to do what is right, good and pleasing to the Lord, we so often turn a blind eye to our own shortcomings and magnify the mistakes and faults of others around us, especially in those who are closest to us. We justify it by saying that it is only because we want what is best for them. Yet, in reality, in our own pridefulness, we are masking our imperfections by making others feel guilty about theirs. In seeing them squirm, it makes us feel better about how “good” we appear in contrast. Jesus tells us clearly that these motivations are wrong and are not in line with what He desires for His followers.

            In my experience, I have observed some who have struggled with weight issues who were overcome with guilt regarding their inability to drop pounds for their own benefit. This shame which was already well-grounded by their own feelings of pain and self-doubt was even more enhanced by close friends and family members who believed their words of “encouragement” were designed to prod their loved one to better health. However, the ones pointing the finger at their overweight counterparts were themselves in need of getting into better shape, of ridding themselves of unhealthy poundage. The latter, if asked about their own situation, would provide many excuses as to why it was perfectly normal for them to carry their added burden…yet, for others, the extra load must be jettisoned for their own best interest. As the old saying goes, “he who points a finger at others has three fingers of accusation pointing back at him!”

            We must be careful in our assessment of the situation of the people around us. This is Jesus’ point in the above passage. If we are quick to make “judgment calls” on what another should do, we must first ask ourselves if we have already accomplished the same. If we are benefiting from the action, especially in our relationship with the Lord, then it would be fitting for us to suggest this action to another as a blessing to his/her life. If, however, our idea is just that, an idea not personally validated, especially if we are suffering from the same malady, then we have no place to make such a recommendation until we have applied it personally.

            Lastly, we must be very careful in how we approach the predicaments of others. Unlike Almighty God, we do not, nor will we ever have all the information available on another person, what is in his/her heart, what is going on in his/her home/context/work, etc. All we have available is what we see at a given point in time and, quite frankly, that is not enough information to base any determination from our position. Jesus states that when we start judging others based on our limited knowledge, we will be judged “by the same measure” as we judged them. Considering our inadequate and restricted access to information, it would be highly unwise to pursue this course at all.

            Rather, we should focus on the following things. First of all, leave judgment to God. Only He knows all things about us. He alone has the capacity to judge wisely. Secondly, since we are all sinners and in need of grace, let us extend abundant grace to one another. Thirdly, in that same spirit, as fellow believers in Christ, let us be vessels of true encouragement to one another, building up with words that are borne out of our own experiences with His truth. Let us not urge others to do something that we have not done ourselves, especially if we have or have had the same affliction. In this way, the love of Christ finds a reality in and through our lives that is seldom seen and known in this world, yet is desperately needed to be shown.

Mothers and Sons

“On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; and both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus *said to Him, ‘They have no wine.’ And Jesus *said to her, ‘Woman, what does that have to do with us? My hour has not yet come.’ His mother *said to the servants, ‘Whatever He says to you, do it.’” (rf. Jn. 2:1–5)

            There has always been a special bond, a unique interaction between mothers and sons. It is a connection that can be very positive if the relationship is built rightly on genuine love and respect one for another. The son should always love and respect his mother, though how that love is expressed will change as the son grows from boyhood to becoming a man. It should be his goal to be a blessing to her and to heed her words of wisdom, especially, as they relate to the female influences in his life (rf. Prov. 6:20; 23:25). He should seek to make her elder years as pleasant as possible (rf. Prov. 23:22). By the same token, a mother of sons should understand that her goal is to raise strong men, always to the end of releasing them from her circle of influence when they are old enough to provide for their own needs, and, especially, for the needs of a wife and children. It should be her desire to mold her sons into gentlemen who will nurture, protect and love their wives and family with an unconditional love and a commitment to be there for them through “thick and thin”.

            Though Jesus was never married with a family in the conventional sense, He did have a strong relationship with His mother, Mary. His interaction with her in the above passage shows a great deal of love and respect for His mother. In the first place, as the setting for the earliest miracle of His nascent ministry, Jesus attends a wedding with His disciple contingent, apparently at the behest of His mother (vs. 1). The dilemma of the lack of wine comes to the attention of Mary first, which indicates that she was an important invited guest to the wedding. Knowing who Jesus really is (God’s Son with implicit authority and power), she immediately pulls her Son aside and informs Jesus of the problem. Though Jesus uses the term, “Woman”, as if in a derogatory fashion, it’s use is actually intended to be a dignified, soft-pedaled rebuke, as if to tell His mother that she is overstepping her place to “push the envelope”, yet in a loving fashion. Nevertheless, Mary, as many a a mother can relate, is not going to allow this problem to continue when she knows her Son can solve it. She disregards His retort and commands the servants (another indication of her importance), “Whatever He says to you, do it” (vs. 5). As we know from the rest of the passage, in respect of Mary’s persistence, Jesus turns the water in the waterpots into the best wine hitherto served at the wedding!

            Not only does Jesus perform His opening miracle, more importantly, Jesus provides us a clear example of what it means to “honor your mother” (rf. Dt. 5:16). Though He was around 30 years old at the time, He still respected His mother and deferred to her wisdom in this situation. This was not always the case, however. When she and His brothers came to get Him because they thought He had lost His mind, He did not allow them entrance to where He was teaching (rf. Mk. 3:21, 31-35). Yet, when all but one of His disciples had deserted Him at His crucifixion, it was His mother, Mary, who remained with Him, staying at His feet as He hung on the cross. Jesus, as the eldest Son, entrusted His care of her, upon His death, to His most trusted follower, the Apostle John (rf. Jn. 19:26-27), showing that Jesus took His duty of protection and provision of His mother seriously. One cannot imagine the pain she must have suffered watching her firstborn Son dying in a fashion undeserving of the punishment being inflicted upon Him. Then, after His death and burial, she had the blessing of seeing Him in His resurrected body, viewing His ascension into heaven, and being a recipient of His promise of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost (rf. Acts 1:1-14ff).

As the mother of the Son of God, Mary was witness to the fulfillment of God’s will and mission in her Son’s life. This should be the culmination of every mother’s highest desire for her son. Likewise, it should be the goal of every son to love, respect and provide for his mother as an expression of his devotion, not only to her, but, especially, to God.