Godly Grandparenting

    Grandparents’ Day is being celebrated this month.  Lori and I are not yet at that season of life.  Yet, we are looking forward to the opportunity to spoil, love and invest time, resources and energy into the lives of the little ones we hope the Lord will send our way through our children and their mates in the years to come.  (Of course, we have to get all of our children married first.  We want to make sure our priorities are in Biblical order.)

    Speaking of being a grandparent, I have been around a lot of them in my years of ministry.  I can truly testify that there is a defined art to becoming a great one.  There are a number of characteristics that are essential to good grandparenting: wisdom, patience, unconditional love, etc.  These should be like wine; they mature with age.  However, there is one factor that may not be so evident, yet it is necessary if one wants to be a wonderful grandparent to his or her grandkids.  That factor is adaptation.

    The capacity to respond positively to change is one that we normally do not associate with grandparenting.  For those who are well on up in years, you may remember your grandparents as the ones who sat on the front porch of the “old home place” expecting all of the family to come to them on Sundays, special occasions, holidays, or just when they, the grandparents wanted a visit.  This may have been the usual reality when the vast majority of the family lived within a five-ten-twenty mile radius of the grandparents and could drive/ride in a short time to get there.  In those days, the “old home place” was, indeed, the social gathering spot for the family and often the largest of the places for such events.  It simply worked for that time.

    However, times have changed.  For most families, locations of the children and grand-children are extremely varied.  Some may be close at hand to the grandparents.  However, because of the transient nature of our culture and the tenuous situation of our economy, many live far away from the places were they initially grew up as a child.  The “old home place” worked well for the Waltons, but is not well suited for the 21st century family.  It is the wise grandparent who realizes this and adjusts his/her perspective to the change.

    Barring debilitating illnesses and health problems, grandparents who see themselves as the agents of travel to their children rather than visa versa are the ones who will gain the greatest blessing of this new arrangement.  It is they who will be able to bless their children and grand-children with the wealth of their experience and life lessons as they share with them the quality of their time and resources.  This is a heart and mind shift from a selfish “I want them to come to me” perspective to a “I will go to them because I am freer to go” mentality, taking so much pressure off of the children who are, in many cases, just able to make ends meet financially and otherwise. 

    In the end, all parties involved will reap tremendous dividends by the investment made in these new arrangements.   The grandkids will have a better understanding and appreciation of their grandparents because of more time spent with them.  The children will be blessed by the interaction with their parents as their grandparents give them a little time off from parenting.  The grandparents get to do what God intended for grandparents to do best, enjoy the benefits and joys of grandparenting by focusing on the grandchildren and their needs, putting off the reality of their own circumstances for awhile.

    So, as you celebrate Grandparents’ Day this year, reflect on your own perspective of grandparenting.  Are you constantly expecting your children and grandchildren to come to you or are you willing to be the one who goes to them to enjoy their company to alleviate their stress?  Change is good if it is to the end of blessing another’s life.  What greater joy is there than in bringing such joy to your children’s children, to be there for them as they celebrate life?  Make whatever changes in your own life to be there in theirs.