Marriage Truths

One of the key issues of our day is marriage. The concept of marriage is being attacked from many different directions. As believers in Christ we have typically focused our attention on those who have lobbied governmental officials and the judicial branches to redefine marriage so that “same-sex” unions could fall within its rubric. Yet, this is but one battle in the overall war that has been perpetuated by the Enemy of our faith. Indeed, it may be the most visible on purpose because it has been intended to be a distraction to the more insidious plan of attack that he has already put into motion.

 Let me state, first of all, that none of his weapons are novel. Satan has used these same tactics over and over throughout history and with great success, I might add. This is the reason he continues to bring them forth and implement them. He knows that, under the right circumstances, they will most likely achieve the desired outcome—the destruction of God’s covenant of marriage between a man and a woman.

 Let me also add that, in pointing out the tactics of the Enemy and the sins they involve because they represent a twisting of God’s original design for marriage, I am not condemning those who have been deceived by Satan’s wiles. Are these victims of deception responsible for their own actions? Absolutely. Yet, even as Eve was held accountable for falling prey to the temptations of the serpent in the Garden (rf. Genesis 3:16), God saw her as one who needed grace in the midst of her sin. Such is the case here.

 Our culture and societal norm not too many years ago used to be one in which marriage between a man and a woman was not only the foregone and accepted definition, but also an exalted goal to be attained, a worthy institution to be upheld and protected. Adultery, premarital sex and other forms of sexual immorality, though present, were thoroughly disdained and rebuked when brought to the light of day to the extent that the possibility of shame and dishonor was a strong deterrent to these actions. My, how far we have fallen.

The culture in the interim years has been convinced through various legislative, judicial and media means that marriage is but a contractual agreement between two parties, not a covenant between three, and thus should be as easy to break through the use of a lawyer as making a will. With the advent of “no blame divorce”, fault lines of perspectives regarding marriage began to develop. Now with a recognized easy “out”, couples no longer viewed marriage as a lifetime commitment to each other. Rather, for many, they chose the “as long as we agree that we have feelings of love for each other” or “until I find someone I love better than you” understanding of marriage even as they took their “vows” to each other, only to see the vows broken along with their hearts. The Enemy had used this weapon well...but he had yet more potent ones in his arsenal.

As the culture and society’s view of marriage weakened, Satan unleashed his next dire bit of artillery. To those children devastated by the effects of divorce, the prospects of getting married and then have their marriage end as their parents’ did was not a future they necessarily desired. Yet, they did want the companionship, love and blessings that marriage itself afforded. So, as the Enemy promised, why not have the blessings without the responsibility? Thus, the instituting of “domestic partnerships” or “trial marriages” or, simply put, living together became vogue. In this way, couples could have all the “benefits” of being married and still be independent as well as be friends. Hey, they could even have children together and not be officially bound legally. The Enemy knew how compelling an argument he could make to such a crowd. So, this has become a popular means of social bonding, today.

However, the most destructive part of this equation is the last. The one institution that should have been a bulwark against all of the above was the Church. She was the one who was given God’s Word to keep and protect at all costs. She was the one to uphold the things that Christ Himself had deemed sacred, which included the marriage covenant as shown by being the setting of His first miracle (rf. John 2:1-12) and the lengthy subject of His teaching (rf. Matthew 19:1-12). Yet, because of the great divisions in her midst, she has largely failed in her mission. Her people show no difference between themselves and the world around them in terms of the divorce rate. Her young people are “shacking up” with each other and we turn a blind eye to their sin. Their parents who profess their faith in Christ are encouraging the practice. The Church has grown silent in telling our youth and young adults that premarital sex is a sin, “fornication” according to Scripture (rf. Matthew 15:18-19). Indeed, hear the convicting words of Hebrews 13:4:

 “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

 By our sins of omission and commission, we, the Church, have allowed the Enemy to have great victories in our time and within our society.

...But it does not have to continue in this manner. We can snatch true victory from the jaws of apparent defeat by returning to the place of truth and humble confession. If we have failed in our marriages at present or past, we need to confess those failures honestly to the Lord as well as to each other as couples and repent, declaring to Him our intent not to repeat our mistakes. If we are living in a state that is contrary to His will, we need to remove ourselves from that situation altogether without fail as a visible sign of our sincerity. We need to repent of our sins against the Lord and rectify them by dissolving wrong relationships or making them right in His sight by marriage and to do so quickly. God is only pleased by obedience to Him because it shows the reality of our love for Him (rf. John 14:15, 21; 15:10). To continue doing what we know is wrong only makes our situation in sin worse (rf. James 4:17).

 I have said this before and, because of its importance, I will repeat it. It is past time for the Church to rise again and be Christ’s Church. We need to speak and live the truth as Jesus did...in love for others, not giving place to sin. Only when we follow His Word and example, showing by our distinction from the world that we belong to Him will we be the authentic disciples that He has called us to be. Doing so is not easy...but, then again, doing what is right never is.