“So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love (agapas) Me more than these?’ He said to Him, ‘Yes, Lord. You know that I love (philo) You.’ He said to him, ‘Feed My lambs.’ He said to him again a second time, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love (agapas) Me?’ He said to Him, ‘Yes, Lord. You know that I love (philo) You.’ He said to him, ‘Tend My sheep.’ He said to him the third time, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love (phileis) Me?’ Peter was grieved because He asked him the third time, ‘Do you love (phileis) Me?’ He said to Him, ‘Lord, You know everything. You know that I love (philo) You.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed My sheep.’” (rf. John 21:15-17 MEV)
I may have touched on this in previous years of writing February articles, but it is well worth a revisit. In the New Testament particularly, the authors, including the Apostle John above, use different Greek words for our English concept of the word, “Love”. We tend to use the same word to apply to different objects. We would say, “I love my parents and siblings” or “I love my spouse” or “I love my pet” or even “I love the New Orleans Saints football team (which I don’t by the way—I am a die-hard, die-long Atlanta Falcons fan), using “love” in each, but meaning a different type of love for each.
In the Greek language of John’s time, there were different words for different types of love. Agapeo is the highest form of love possible because it is unconditional. It is freely given and never earned. Phileo is brotherly love, usually found between those committed to a lifelong friendship. It is hard to break. Stergo is familial love between family members. Eros is passionate love, usually with sexual connotations as between a husband and wife.
In the above passage, there is a dynamic interchange between Jesus and Peter concerning Peter’s love for Jesus. Yes, Jesus is recommissioning Peter after Peter’s three-fold denial of Him before Jesus’ crucifixion. Notice, however, that Jesus is asking Peter if Peter loves Him with the highest or unconditional love (derivatives of Agapeo). Peter responds with a pledge of brotherly love each of the three times (derivatives of Phileo). Only on the third question does Jesus ask Peter if Peter loves Him with brotherly love to which Peter replies “You know I do”. Jesus purposefully steps down His expectations of Agapeo to meet Peter on the level of Phileo. In essence, Jesus shows Peter how much He loves him by meeting Peter at the place where Peter is. Peter will later experience and exhibit Agapeo when he formally begins to “feed (Jesus’) sheep”.
Be encouraged to know that Jesus loves us so much that He will willingly meet us at our point of need and understanding. By His Spirit He will then over time move us, as He did Peter, to meet the expectations of showing the same love to those around us.
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