Mothers and Sons

“On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; and both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus *said to Him, ‘They have no wine.’ And Jesus *said to her, ‘Woman, what does that have to do with us? My hour has not yet come.’ His mother *said to the servants, ‘Whatever He says to you, do it.’” (rf. Jn. 2:1–5)

            There has always been a special bond, a unique interaction between mothers and sons. It is a connection that can be very positive if the relationship is built rightly on genuine love and respect one for another. The son should always love and respect his mother, though how that love is expressed will change as the son grows from boyhood to becoming a man. It should be his goal to be a blessing to her and to heed her words of wisdom, especially, as they relate to the female influences in his life (rf. Prov. 6:20; 23:25). He should seek to make her elder years as pleasant as possible (rf. Prov. 23:22). By the same token, a mother of sons should understand that her goal is to raise strong men, always to the end of releasing them from her circle of influence when they are old enough to provide for their own needs, and, especially, for the needs of a wife and children. It should be her desire to mold her sons into gentlemen who will nurture, protect and love their wives and family with an unconditional love and a commitment to be there for them through “thick and thin”.

            Though Jesus was never married with a family in the conventional sense, He did have a strong relationship with His mother, Mary. His interaction with her in the above passage shows a great deal of love and respect for His mother. In the first place, as the setting for the earliest miracle of His nascent ministry, Jesus attends a wedding with His disciple contingent, apparently at the behest of His mother (vs. 1). The dilemma of the lack of wine comes to the attention of Mary first, which indicates that she was an important invited guest to the wedding. Knowing who Jesus really is (God’s Son with implicit authority and power), she immediately pulls her Son aside and informs Jesus of the problem. Though Jesus uses the term, “Woman”, as if in a derogatory fashion, it’s use is actually intended to be a dignified, soft-pedaled rebuke, as if to tell His mother that she is overstepping her place to “push the envelope”, yet in a loving fashion. Nevertheless, Mary, as many a a mother can relate, is not going to allow this problem to continue when she knows her Son can solve it. She disregards His retort and commands the servants (another indication of her importance), “Whatever He says to you, do it” (vs. 5). As we know from the rest of the passage, in respect of Mary’s persistence, Jesus turns the water in the waterpots into the best wine hitherto served at the wedding!

            Not only does Jesus perform His opening miracle, more importantly, Jesus provides us a clear example of what it means to “honor your mother” (rf. Dt. 5:16). Though He was around 30 years old at the time, He still respected His mother and deferred to her wisdom in this situation. This was not always the case, however. When she and His brothers came to get Him because they thought He had lost His mind, He did not allow them entrance to where He was teaching (rf. Mk. 3:21, 31-35). Yet, when all but one of His disciples had deserted Him at His crucifixion, it was His mother, Mary, who remained with Him, staying at His feet as He hung on the cross. Jesus, as the eldest Son, entrusted His care of her, upon His death, to His most trusted follower, the Apostle John (rf. Jn. 19:26-27), showing that Jesus took His duty of protection and provision of His mother seriously. One cannot imagine the pain she must have suffered watching her firstborn Son dying in a fashion undeserving of the punishment being inflicted upon Him. Then, after His death and burial, she had the blessing of seeing Him in His resurrected body, viewing His ascension into heaven, and being a recipient of His promise of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost (rf. Acts 1:1-14ff).

As the mother of the Son of God, Mary was witness to the fulfillment of God’s will and mission in her Son’s life. This should be the culmination of every mother’s highest desire for her son. Likewise, it should be the goal of every son to love, respect and provide for his mother as an expression of his devotion, not only to her, but, especially, to God.